Wednesday, January 23, 2013

First


for every first steps taken, first breathes inhaled, none quite the same. She takes up a new beginning, giving it a try, first of many attempt. Granted it is not the first trial. but first easy steps nonetheless. One small step in front of the other, one small success after another. no time to back away now, as the gates are getting bigger through those big round eyes and the pavements made way inviting to the grand opening of a majestic building. Maybe one more turn to the back, she thought. A look to replace the last farewell. Looking back, but still moving forward she saw the dearest face that has been with her through every layer of every move. the face of a women who knows naught what to do with the naughty little child on one hand and a burdensome responsibility on the other. The face of a mother saying good bye. no more tears, she told herself. They're only meant to be supplements of her strong emotions and one must not wear their emotions on their sleeves. Good bye mother, we will meet again. one day. some day. some how. Enough now. Time to move past every loop hole and rickety mistreatments. Today shall be the first on a new undiscovered land. for her anyway. its her very first.

First attempt. their colours are different. the people moving. they're a little taller. fast talkers, with a funny slang and hint of exaggeration. is every sentence high pitched and tones strained in every word ? would they know the tongue of the mountains ? have they ever heard of the high grounds lay atop the Himalayas ? the land above the high seas? people like me ? they're all staring at me. I look back. did they want something from me? but i promised no such gifts for the persons along my pathways. I kept on walking. careful not to stare at others as they might misinterpret my intention.
"You student from the above? You going to the university?" one man asked. He talks funny, almost making me laugh but I resisted. one must not laugh at other's disadvantage. Though I've had the vast interpretation that they're were suppose to speak better English than I could. they have a better chance at learning them in comparison to me. Nonetheless, maybe I overestimated.
"Not the above, but from the Mountains of the Himalayas. I am not God." I responded. at some point, the man retracted. he looked stunned. "You spoke well!" were the next sentence that came out of his mouth. Now I am stunned. How could I not? its been my second dialect, the voices of the mountains being the first.
I smiled simply. it seemed to be the only polite response to it all. this is the first of many i presumed. The man took my bags and walked me to a small car. we're moving to the next destination. The university. I held my breath. After along while, after crucial debates and strong headed opinions from my people, I am finally here.  Even though I left without great blessings. Without much support. scrutinized and criticized in its truest form. Never mind it all. its all in the past. It is now the future. to look forward. and more firsts to come.

At last, she saw the vast complex architecture she could only imagine when she was younger. through the visuals, polaroids and pictures brought to her people by the foreign teacher. the sturdy, rigid building still standing high and mighty, daring passer-by's not to take a glance at it. The University. majestic and lively, remaining constant even through the evolution of time and trend changes of humanity. I gazed in awe.
This where she will be living for the next few years, till she figures out her new first step. She was finally here, in the depths of her home, away from home. a giddy warmth surrounds her inner-self. This is the First

Analeyya finds contentment... Atlast.
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Monday, January 14, 2013

politics. basic 101.

Sometimes the more we learn in life, the more complex we get our heads knotted. The wisest of people may well be a small 4 year old boy who just knew how to build the blocks. Because they're not afraid to learn. they're not afraid when they fail. yeah i know that maybe it's not relevant in circumstances where we actually do have something to lose if fail. my point was, there was no ego in the subject matter.
Law school throws you a hand full of junks which might serve the purpose of actually serving the political setback of the society. However, these junks are not always able to be grasped by others. firstly, because they're not able to hear the lectures. and secondly, because there is simply no means to reach out to 25 million people in Malaysia, rich or poor, tall or short, big or small to listen to the matter.

Like every other adult in every corner of the earth, ego becomes the wall that separates their mind from truly accepting the views of another. The attitude of  "I'm All That" and "I'm Always Right" and "Listen to Me because I dare challenge the Big Head" becomes the catalyst of such nature. don't get me wrong. I have absolutely nothing against opinions, arguments and different points of view. but what i do have a problem is with people who refuses to acknowledge the ideas of others.
Passion is what drives a person for their freedom to choose. Freedom to create their own willed imagination. And with this I am impressed with those who have made their stand in supporting their respective teams, for I have yet to make my own decision. But passion comes with the ability to BE PASSIONATE. be passionate of one true goal. to actually listen and agree if need be. not blindly support. And sadly this bloody trend happens as if its a disease spreading through like the black plague.

we fight with our hearts. I've always believed that. However that does not mean we leave our brains at home.